27.1.08

tania the tiger

friday we had our first rehearsal with tania león, the 5-foot-tall cuban female tiger. i think the entire symphony orchestra should've had a few sit-in sessions with the latin jazz orchestra before rehearsing with her. we're too upright, too classically trained to play ellington, ginastera and revueltas...to be a complete musician, she said, we had to be involved in everything, including jazz. that's true at some places like calarts, where improvisation is expected and experienced all the time, but at oberlin and at purchase, not so much. we have a very limited view of what music actually is.

i've been working saturday nights checking coats at rebecca's. sometime in april i hopefully will go back to side waiting. my biggest tendencies are to get chapped lips and to get dehydrated. i brought one smart water (1 liter), but it wasn't enough, and i kept my burt's bees lifeguard chapstick (red cap) in my pocket at all times. i met the guy who owns the ginsberg pictures. they're amazing - quirky and funny.

today: imani winds at the PAC, 3pm.

i started at the circ desk at the campus library on thursday; i think it will be a fun job. at $10 per hour, handling books all morning two days a week, i'm happy. tutoring starts the week of feb 11.

i've been playing excerpts and mozart expositions for weeks. hopefully some day the fever will break. 6 auditions in the next few weeks, and should i send a tape to banff as security? hiking the mountains of canada sounds good to me.

16.1.08

swollen

the kat-ful weekend was good. we hit balthazar for saturday brunch - where i randomly saw ami vice - and wandered a bit in soho before heading to midtown for some scrounging of contemporary art. we saw christie's first - kat's famous workplace - they were having an open house. i put on some gloves to look at some koons posters. everyone was looking. we forged on to the frick, which is lovely. kat gets 6 free tickets per month - another perk of her job. it's similar to the isabella gardner museum in that the entire collection is attributed to a single woman. here, portraiture dominates (vermeer, rembrandt, singer sargent, goya, el greco, among many others). notably, hans holbein the younger had an amazing capacity for capturing character with extremely precise drawing. kat described his exhaustive process of sketching (i believe it was him...) before even beginning to paint.

sam met us at kat's apartment in the east village after his day of rehearsals and we headed to dinner at milon, an indian restaurant a few blocks away, while kat took a taxi with tootsie to a friend's art opening in brooklyn. we caught up while being almost blinded by the strings of lights inside the tiny restaurant. kat met us back at her place and we girls changed before hitting gonzalez y gonzalez for a night of salsa!

sunday morning i met clio and andrew for a late-ish brunch at niko's (72nd&broadway). clio has been playing in this chamber music intensive for the last week or so and her classes just started back this week. her concert is the same night i'm working coat check at rebecca's, unfortunately. i met kat at union square and we took a cab to chelsea, hoping some more small galleries would be open. unfortunately, many of the smaller places are closed sundays and mondays (like many chic restaurants), so we regrouped and went to the MOMA (not a shabby substitution).

we wanted to see "27 dresses" but it wasn't completely out yet in theaters, so we rented a movie and got chinese takeout from the place around the corner from kat's house. we chilled with finn, kat's effervescent chic roommate who hails from london over szechuan string beans, general tso's chicken, and bbq ribs chinese-style. i thought the snow was going to come, so i stayed an extra night. it was nice not to have to take a late-night train, anyway. in the morning we ate oatmeal in our pjs and read a few chapters of the prisoner of zerba (purchased at the strand) aloud to eachother.

my dad is right. i need some good walking shoes. i'm going to kill my feet.

will i get into any of these 5 festivals this summer? i wonder.

10.1.08

fresh

sitting crouched on my twin-sized bed amidst the sounds of across the street construction i wonder: will being here at 17 university place port chester, away from the toxic environment, promise me happiness?

it has almost been a year since i crossed the pond for france. last weekend i met claire and rodolphe in the city for lunch, and she said it was strange-it was as if we had seen eachother yesterday, not 8 months ago. i wish i had disposable income so i could jetset and see them at their respective corners of the universe...but unfortunately, these days my finances are drearily tight.

this weekend, prospective...
  • friday: "new york idol" - kat's roommate finn is singing; sleep over at kat's.
  • saturday: galleries with miss-know-at-all katherine cohn, photography at the moma, etc; dinner with the elusive cellist sam van loon, who i haven't seen in a lightyear; salsa dancing downtown at gonzalez y gonzalez perhaps with sam in tow, otherwise with kat and possibly clio/andrew.
  • sunday: dinner with alice at my new place, perhaps?
a possible 3rd roommate is coming to view the house today. i hope she likes it!

5.1.08

once




once upon a time, my words were weapons. i rarely had anyone to spar with. now, i make things up less often. i don't have to manufacture reality. too often it disappointed, anyway.

10/24/2004
memory traces of sand escaping
drop by drop until an eventual zero
why are there holes
and not solid ground
gaps yawned blurred edges
banging pans trying to recover faces
voices anything but the void
waking with the dawn
refusing to laugh with the rest
knowing everything that wouldn't be
living cliché hard-boild eggs and salami
gulped down with a malt and a morphine
tricking time at its own game snake eyes
the flip of an imprisoning switch and it's
back again to the unabating infernal waltz
morbidly beautiful tango scepter cast aside
maybe the guru had lain atop his mountain
suspended in his lotus pose cracking lips
wisdom rolling off his tongue no longer savory
sad twisted corrupted and solitary
rusted in sore misuse collecting dust
aubergine tears seized by slow frost