sound of the squeaky shower head
yellow shag carpet on naked feet
faint pervasive smell of cocoa butter and garlic
errant blueberries the taste of white gold on my chin
hum of the turning refrigerator smooth cracked leather
sleeping barely waking grown restful from disuse
the telling crunch of a cherry tomato guessing wrong
things familiar churning mulling it all over was it fixed
given a tell smudges on the mirror of my childhood
nightly hoping for spiderbites sign of nightmare
marks of bitter reality an excuse to sweep away
remnants of the past on my windowsill frozen fixed
flushed dripping sweltering dans l'air climatisé
biking paved suburban circles alone mid-morning
16.6.07
14.6.07
some drinks
mardi soir: café de paris, under the auspices of eric, richard and i rolled out at 9pm, i think i psychologically ignored eric's suggestion that i arrive from 5:30-8:30 to see the jazz...needless to say, when we arrived the musicians had packed up their instruments and gathered up their tips. we each had a glass of dry cote de rhone wine and talked things over.
plans for next week--dinner at iron bridge winery (which reminded me from the pictures on the website of that winery i stopped by but didn't drink anything at in the 16th arrondissement, was it? with manou?), maybe also a movie at the charles ("waitress"?).
in the farther future, we're planning a dinner party at richard's place (more space and no interference of my parents, a definite plus), perhaps indian-themed? although we wanted to have wine, with richard handling the wine pairings of the dishes...we'll see.
last night: happy hour with some obie alums in the d.c. area at café citron, down by dupont circle. oliver mains! cristina jardine! becky davidson! fabulousness. it was lovely to see oliver, it had been a while, and cristina met him for the first time and they became fast friends. we're plotting some cool things, maybe movies on e street or dinners in bethesda/silver spring.
cristina had a mojito (they're known for them there), i a corona with lime, and after schmoozing a little we left in the pouring rain (i had my little plaid umbrella with me, thank god) in search of a restaurant. we ended up at a good mediterranean restaurant, i had something involving beef and eggplant, although i was disappointed with the result, and cristina had a spinach and cheese pizza-type entree. blue moon for her and a glass of red wine for me.
we left late, my fault because i talk to much (obvi). it took me a while on the metro (like paris, at night the trains run less frequently), and i changed at chinatown (as did cristina, but she to the yellow line in the opposite direction) to the green line and took it nearly to the end. there was a bit of a mess on 95S past the 32 exit where i got off, i'm not sure whether it was an accident or what, but i was tired and the flashing lights woke me up a little. i was home by 11h30 and in bed by 1.
on the reading list: the tent (m. atwood), some plath poetry, if on a winter's night a traveler (i. calvino)
cooking tonight: ratatouille (2e fois) avec de l'ail, aubergines, courgettes, tomates, poivrons (rouge, orange, jaune, vert), herbes de provence. yum.
plans for next week--dinner at iron bridge winery (which reminded me from the pictures on the website of that winery i stopped by but didn't drink anything at in the 16th arrondissement, was it? with manou?), maybe also a movie at the charles ("waitress"?).
in the farther future, we're planning a dinner party at richard's place (more space and no interference of my parents, a definite plus), perhaps indian-themed? although we wanted to have wine, with richard handling the wine pairings of the dishes...we'll see.
last night: happy hour with some obie alums in the d.c. area at café citron, down by dupont circle. oliver mains! cristina jardine! becky davidson! fabulousness. it was lovely to see oliver, it had been a while, and cristina met him for the first time and they became fast friends. we're plotting some cool things, maybe movies on e street or dinners in bethesda/silver spring.
cristina had a mojito (they're known for them there), i a corona with lime, and after schmoozing a little we left in the pouring rain (i had my little plaid umbrella with me, thank god) in search of a restaurant. we ended up at a good mediterranean restaurant, i had something involving beef and eggplant, although i was disappointed with the result, and cristina had a spinach and cheese pizza-type entree. blue moon for her and a glass of red wine for me.
we left late, my fault because i talk to much (obvi). it took me a while on the metro (like paris, at night the trains run less frequently), and i changed at chinatown (as did cristina, but she to the yellow line in the opposite direction) to the green line and took it nearly to the end. there was a bit of a mess on 95S past the 32 exit where i got off, i'm not sure whether it was an accident or what, but i was tired and the flashing lights woke me up a little. i was home by 11h30 and in bed by 1.
on the reading list: the tent (m. atwood), some plath poetry, if on a winter's night a traveler (i. calvino)
cooking tonight: ratatouille (2e fois) avec de l'ail, aubergines, courgettes, tomates, poivrons (rouge, orange, jaune, vert), herbes de provence. yum.
10.6.07
no más! my first night at café de paris.
eric (owner of café de paris) m'a dit que je pourrais "observer" the staff d'une fête ce soir. quand je suis arrivée, j'ai rencontré nikki et jessica, deux soeurs qui travaillent ensemble au café. j'ai aidé nikki dans son boulot, qui était de servir une fête de 25 personnes pour l'anniversaire d'une femme. quand j'ai demandé le nom de la femme, elle m'a dit "paula micka" et j'ai commencé à rire! mon dieu, c'est mon ancienne prof de français au lycee, quoi!! alors c'était un gros plaisir de voir son mari, qui est malade depuis quelques mois, et sa fille, et tous les gens qui l'aiment beaucoup. je n'ai pas gagné beaucoup d'argent, mais vraiment c'était très sympa, avec tous le staff et les clients. j'ai aussi l'écrire une lettre quand j'étais à paris, mais elle ne m'a pas répondu, mais je comprends maintenant que c'était à cause de la maladie de son mari. je ne sais pas si eric va m'appeller toute de suite, mais j'espère que je peux travailler là-bas pour les petites fêtes comme ça, c'est quelque chose que j'aimerais bien faire.
it's also good practice for my french. still no wifi hub-thingy for my laptop, so i'm stuck using all the shortcut codes for french accents. i wish i had a blow-up team of guys that would help me unpack and reorganize everything. it's a huge job, and i'm intimidated by it.
quand-même, il faut que je trouve quelque chose comme "full-time job" parce que ce serait impossible pour moi de gagner assez d'argent comme ça. pour aller à new york, il faut jouer beaucoup de gigs (qui n'existent pas) ou travailler dans une boite que je déteste. je connais presque personne qui pourrait me donner un job, alors...idées? quelqu'un sage?
it's also good practice for my french. still no wifi hub-thingy for my laptop, so i'm stuck using all the shortcut codes for french accents. i wish i had a blow-up team of guys that would help me unpack and reorganize everything. it's a huge job, and i'm intimidated by it.
quand-même, il faut que je trouve quelque chose comme "full-time job" parce que ce serait impossible pour moi de gagner assez d'argent comme ça. pour aller à new york, il faut jouer beaucoup de gigs (qui n'existent pas) ou travailler dans une boite que je déteste. je connais presque personne qui pourrait me donner un job, alors...idées? quelqu'un sage?
5.6.07
multiphonics across the atlantic
how is it that some women can contort their abdomens like that? i saw a thing on maryland public television (they were promoting a dvd) where they were combining yoga and bellydancing. it's beautiful and ugly at once. i'm starting in on ismail beah's memoirs of a boy soldier.
david's natural market is a no-go - they've hired for all positions for the summer. la madeleine and donna's are still possibles.
i got business cards printed and intend to draft a one-page resumé and run them around to local schools and maybe mail them to hotels that host events that might require music. solo flute might not be their style, but i think michael beharie (guitar) is coming back into town in july. will we get gigs? this isn't new york...
my dad sleeps chaotically when tired, snoring noisily, open-mouthed.
yoga, more unpacking, and a new paganini caprice tomorrow. 2nd movement of poulenc. i am enjoying the freedom of controlling the repertoire i work on. i'm brainstorming about the larrieu competition in nice - we'll see if i can lay down a few tracks good enough to send out for the preliminary tape by the end of july.
david's natural market is a no-go - they've hired for all positions for the summer. la madeleine and donna's are still possibles.
i got business cards printed and intend to draft a one-page resumé and run them around to local schools and maybe mail them to hotels that host events that might require music. solo flute might not be their style, but i think michael beharie (guitar) is coming back into town in july. will we get gigs? this isn't new york...
my dad sleeps chaotically when tired, snoring noisily, open-mouthed.
yoga, more unpacking, and a new paganini caprice tomorrow. 2nd movement of poulenc. i am enjoying the freedom of controlling the repertoire i work on. i'm brainstorming about the larrieu competition in nice - we'll see if i can lay down a few tracks good enough to send out for the preliminary tape by the end of july.
3.6.07
pondering the latent humidity (no metaphors)
my body is dissipating between the slats of my childhood bed. i miss the fast pace of the city because it forced me into motion. here, time slips away without a schedule, without a trajectory. swimming through dense jelly with leaden boots. it's been difficult to surface.
writing helps. playing will too once i settle into a pace. any tips from the wise? i've been looking for jobs, right now the crêperie at café de paris sounds the most promising. gas is up to $3.16/gallon, still cheaper i know than europe, where gas is sold by the liter, but quand même $50 for a tank of gas is obscene. french feels heavy on my tongue, like someone gummed it up and threw it back. tomorrow, a new day, a new week, perhaps i can figure out where to jam all these things i have into some sort of organization? it will take inspiration. i'm getting a haircut, maybe i'll come out with a clear head.
i missed indian buffets in france. scene of today's crime: house of india on snowden river parkway. chicken tikka masala, pea curried deliciousness, naan bread, sweet lassi, many other delights whose flavors bled into eachother and simmered into my mouth. i will sleep tonight without pause. the narrative of "inheritance of loss" bleeds into my dreams. sylvia plath's poetry sits darkly in the corner of my mind.
comment as you will, mes amis. pointers from slices of your life, outlooks from across the ocean, all much appreciated.
writing helps. playing will too once i settle into a pace. any tips from the wise? i've been looking for jobs, right now the crêperie at café de paris sounds the most promising. gas is up to $3.16/gallon, still cheaper i know than europe, where gas is sold by the liter, but quand même $50 for a tank of gas is obscene. french feels heavy on my tongue, like someone gummed it up and threw it back. tomorrow, a new day, a new week, perhaps i can figure out where to jam all these things i have into some sort of organization? it will take inspiration. i'm getting a haircut, maybe i'll come out with a clear head.
i missed indian buffets in france. scene of today's crime: house of india on snowden river parkway. chicken tikka masala, pea curried deliciousness, naan bread, sweet lassi, many other delights whose flavors bled into eachother and simmered into my mouth. i will sleep tonight without pause. the narrative of "inheritance of loss" bleeds into my dreams. sylvia plath's poetry sits darkly in the corner of my mind.
comment as you will, mes amis. pointers from slices of your life, outlooks from across the ocean, all much appreciated.
28.5.07
lately
1. friday: return from paris vers 17h to the states, one large valise m.i.a. with all of my clothes, sauf my beautiful graduation dress and button necklace that matches it perfectly. chinese takeout (string beans and kung pao chicken, 2 of my all-time favorites) and then dropping a few old things in my small suitcase (vide of all the books and music) before hitting the road for pennsylvania.
2. saturday: arrival by car vers midi to oberlin, oh, for the conservatory luncheon. i think many were surprised to see my cropped hair/open smiling face...i dashed down the chicken salad (still quite jetlagged and on a weird meal schedule) before going to meet up with my friends alex and darcy in tappan square.
we did nothing, sauf bavarder et relaxer, in wilder bowl on benches before heading out to clio's for a little reception at the old apartment (316 w. college). everyone was there, all the old dinner party crew - gwen, solon, elisa, stephanie, lilly - plus wendy, of course, and affiliated family members. lots of clio's clan. yummy warm pasta salad with cherry tomatoes and cheese; double gingerbread with crystallized ginger (a personal favorite of mine that clio makes so well); raw veggies and plenty of delicious fresh fruit and juices.
after, the commencement recital part I (meh); swing dance at wilder bowl (free, live band, fun to see and dance w/ brandon ramos and daniel who lives in nyc); dorm room with darcy, chatting about life, just like barcelona/fez!
3. sunday: leisurely morning, breakfast at oberlin market (soundtrack: stevie wonder!!) - chili/ cumin bagel with strawberry jam, chai with milk and honey; shuffling around with kitchen stuff that clio and i decided i would take for my place in new york...
wobc open house for a t-shirt and 2 stickers (one with an old design to replace the one i lost on my green nalgene before leaving for france); chem open house to see all the kids that i missed (zany mia casale and david smith, eben lichtman, rishana cohen, manasi bhate, all my old profs -- ackermann, whelan, elrod, craig)...
then i wandered around a bit before finding (trouver! god, my franglais) some friends to sing with at nuernberger's house. the crew ended up being steve lind (bass), noah horn (tenor), sarah allen (soprano), and zoe weiss (alto/tenor) and me (alto/soprano). we really needed another tenor, but i think he was truly thrilled to have us sing in his living room. it was intimate. i liked it.
caught a ride with noah and relaxed a little in front of gibsons before doing some shopping in town (earrings from the bead store, cards from ginko gallery, another green nalgene [how could i resist?] from dave's army/navy) and grabbing a feve burger (grilled onions and avocado), great lakes beer (local to cleveland), side salad with mango-lime dressing and a side of tots. i didn't finish everything, but it was delicious!!
i was somewhat courted while drinking my beer by these 2 musicians from new york city in town to see their bandmate graduate (they play klezmer music)? i got the business card of the mexican violinist, he sometimes plays gigs on broadway, i thought he might be a good contact? because really that's what it's all about, i think...
met up with the parents for the second part of the commencement recital, in which solon, clio and johanna played the lovely slow movement from the symphony concertante, alice/jon a great xenakis duet (flute/percussion) and stephanie washington sang a stunning rachmaninov set.
4. monday morning: graduation!! i was right behind the lovely sarah allen (who got high honors in neuroscience, p.s.) and received an envelope with nothing in it, sauf a little thing that said "your diplomas will be in the mail" once we receive the appropriate things, blah. but i got to walk anyway, and shake people's hands, and feel like college was actually over. which it is, and that's a little frightening.
back to france?
2. saturday: arrival by car vers midi to oberlin, oh, for the conservatory luncheon. i think many were surprised to see my cropped hair/open smiling face...i dashed down the chicken salad (still quite jetlagged and on a weird meal schedule) before going to meet up with my friends alex and darcy in tappan square.
we did nothing, sauf bavarder et relaxer, in wilder bowl on benches before heading out to clio's for a little reception at the old apartment (316 w. college). everyone was there, all the old dinner party crew - gwen, solon, elisa, stephanie, lilly - plus wendy, of course, and affiliated family members. lots of clio's clan. yummy warm pasta salad with cherry tomatoes and cheese; double gingerbread with crystallized ginger (a personal favorite of mine that clio makes so well); raw veggies and plenty of delicious fresh fruit and juices.
after, the commencement recital part I (meh); swing dance at wilder bowl (free, live band, fun to see and dance w/ brandon ramos and daniel who lives in nyc); dorm room with darcy, chatting about life, just like barcelona/fez!
3. sunday: leisurely morning, breakfast at oberlin market (soundtrack: stevie wonder!!) - chili/ cumin bagel with strawberry jam, chai with milk and honey; shuffling around with kitchen stuff that clio and i decided i would take for my place in new york...
wobc open house for a t-shirt and 2 stickers (one with an old design to replace the one i lost on my green nalgene before leaving for france); chem open house to see all the kids that i missed (zany mia casale and david smith, eben lichtman, rishana cohen, manasi bhate, all my old profs -- ackermann, whelan, elrod, craig)...
then i wandered around a bit before finding (trouver! god, my franglais) some friends to sing with at nuernberger's house. the crew ended up being steve lind (bass), noah horn (tenor), sarah allen (soprano), and zoe weiss (alto/tenor) and me (alto/soprano). we really needed another tenor, but i think he was truly thrilled to have us sing in his living room. it was intimate. i liked it.
caught a ride with noah and relaxed a little in front of gibsons before doing some shopping in town (earrings from the bead store, cards from ginko gallery, another green nalgene [how could i resist?] from dave's army/navy) and grabbing a feve burger (grilled onions and avocado), great lakes beer (local to cleveland), side salad with mango-lime dressing and a side of tots. i didn't finish everything, but it was delicious!!
i was somewhat courted while drinking my beer by these 2 musicians from new york city in town to see their bandmate graduate (they play klezmer music)? i got the business card of the mexican violinist, he sometimes plays gigs on broadway, i thought he might be a good contact? because really that's what it's all about, i think...
met up with the parents for the second part of the commencement recital, in which solon, clio and johanna played the lovely slow movement from the symphony concertante, alice/jon a great xenakis duet (flute/percussion) and stephanie washington sang a stunning rachmaninov set.
4. monday morning: graduation!! i was right behind the lovely sarah allen (who got high honors in neuroscience, p.s.) and received an envelope with nothing in it, sauf a little thing that said "your diplomas will be in the mail" once we receive the appropriate things, blah. but i got to walk anyway, and shake people's hands, and feel like college was actually over. which it is, and that's a little frightening.
back to france?
23.5.07
glittery aftereffects
joyous because i didn't have schenkerian analysis tonight. i left early, grabbed a crêpe sucre on my way down st michel (my flute on my back, after going to my last cat cantin lesson and my final islamic architecture class ), and waited around for 15 or 20 minutes expecting people...and then vaguely remembered my prof had assigned the rest of the class projects and wished me a bon retour aux états-unis last week...
but - some things restent sur mes épaules, unfortunately. the rest of this islam dissert, and something about domaine musicale and the total serialists of the 1950s, i like to wave my hands about it but it has to get written tonight. then pascal's final tomorrow afternoon, is it worth looking at? memorizing a few titles of salient oeuvres? meh, is what i say...things are coming to a rapid close, and like i told him earlier tonight, if i start packing it means i really have to leave. i'm stubborn.
inevitably, mes derniers jours il y a de bon temps en paris. sans doute god's way of saying "stay, martha, stay!"
jeudi vers 22h/salsa-ing/balajo/1o€ cover/anyone who can give up their dignity and shake their collective booty. it's my going away party i'm holding for myself! (encore)
but - some things restent sur mes épaules, unfortunately. the rest of this islam dissert, and something about domaine musicale and the total serialists of the 1950s, i like to wave my hands about it but it has to get written tonight. then pascal's final tomorrow afternoon, is it worth looking at? memorizing a few titles of salient oeuvres? meh, is what i say...things are coming to a rapid close, and like i told him earlier tonight, if i start packing it means i really have to leave. i'm stubborn.
inevitably, mes derniers jours il y a de bon temps en paris. sans doute god's way of saying "stay, martha, stay!"
jeudi vers 22h/salsa-ing/balajo/1o€ cover/anyone who can give up their dignity and shake their collective booty. it's my going away party i'm holding for myself! (encore)
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